http://www.shvoong.com/humanities/1687564-ilobola/
I'm tracking Menzi's ilobolo negotiations. The joys, anticipation, anxiety, fear, expectations, triumphs and more...
What is ilobolo
Ilobolo is payment to the bride's parents in appreciation to the parents for taking care of her. It's paid in cash or cows or maybe both depending on the agreement between two families]. Ilobola is meant to create a bond between the two families.
ilobolo process
In Menzi's case, he will visit his girkfriend's family in two weeks time. He will be accompanied by two male elders in his family. He says women do not participate in the initial ilobola negotiations. At the meeting, after the initla niceties, his girlfriend's family will provide a 'wish list' of gifts such as a microwave and other kitchen appliances. He doesn't expect the monetary value of the 'gift' list to be less than R10 000. This 'gift' list is not the ilobola payment, it's just the first step on the ilobola nogotiation road. Menzi is quite anxious about the costs he'd have to incur and envisages many years of paying the ilobola off. He is concerned about the risks attached as there is a 'no refund' policy if the relationship ends.
Comments sent to me via Facebook in response to the folliwj g questions:
I'm writing on the payment of 'ilobolo' as part of the zulu marriage custom. Please share your views.#iaj Trevor Memela at 3:36pm June 10
I fully support ilobolo. It's inception was meant to be a building of relationships between two families however people have corrupted it. There are people who are still doing it correctly thou.
Sajida Amin Sabjee-khan at 5:55pm June 10
ive always wantd to know more about this and wil eagerly follow this chat
Zoedumo Maphumulo at 6:30pm June 10
Hi
iLobolo use to have so much meaning to it but gone are the days... Read More…..
From a young women’s perspective: as a Zulu I am in full support of the custom. But I feel as though our generation is abusing this custom. It has become a matter of “How much is he willing to pay for you?” What pay for me…am I a piece of meat or something?
Way back in the day when our country was not in a recession and iLobolo &marriage was truly about the exchange of gifts and the uniting of two families it would have worked well. But now it’s about cold hard cash! And lots of it….
Sajida Amin Sabjee-khan at 7:01pm June 10
thnx zoedumo, is payment relative to the times or status
